Ep 62 – Career Planning Part 1 – Relfection Questions

Hello and welcome to this week's episode.

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Our focus today is on reflecting

on the last year of your career.

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So if you're listening to this episode

as it's released, then it's new year

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and it's a natural time for reflection

and setting intentions for the new year.

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But we've designed this episode so

that you can use it at any point.

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And then this is going to be back to back

with an episode next week, which will go

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to the future and thinking about what that

future career might want to look like.

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So all of what we're covering is stuff

that we cover with our clients all the

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time, and we just wanted to share with

you this week, some of the reflection

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questions that we use, that we find

are most helpful for helping clients

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to do that reflection piece and get

in the best place to decide what they

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want for the future of their career.

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So Pam, this I imagine comes up a lot when

you are working with job search clients

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because that aspect of knowing what

they want has to start with reflecting

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on where they've been in their career

and where they're up to at this point.

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Pam: Yeah, I think the reflection

is the best part of what we do.

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And it is so important because people

just think I need to move forward.

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And whatever's happened in the past,

they want to draw a line under it.

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Sometimes you don't even want to

think about it because There'll be a

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million reasons, everything from being

embarrassed to being hurt and upset.

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There's a lot of stuff that goes

on within our careers that we

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just want to move away from.

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But I think the key thing in order

to move forward properly in the right

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direction and with real intention is

to reflect on where you've been, the

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lessons that you've learned and what

you can take out of all of that to

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move forward with, because you don't

reflect on it, you'll forget about it.

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The memories will be quite fragmented

and it will just make your life so

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much easier in terms of moving forward.

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If you do that real deep reflection

and it's a great time to do

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it at the start of the year.

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Jacqui: It's interesting, isn't it?

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Because so much of our work is

with people who are ambitious.

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They want to progress.

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They're really keen for that next stage.

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And if I think about my time in my career.

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I didn't do that much reflection really

it's it happens when it comes around

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to appraisal time and you have to try

and think back, but a lot of the time

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that focus when you're constantly

ambitious and looking at the next thing

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you sometimes don't give the time and

attention to reflection, and there's so

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much benefit that can happen when you do.

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So we're going to share our six favorite

reflection questions and what we'll do is

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just talk you through how we use them with

clients, why we love them as questions and

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what you can take from them if you put the

energy into reflecting on that question.

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So get us started, Pam.

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First question.

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What would you ask people?

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Pam: Okay.

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So question number one has got to

be, what have you learned this year?

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I think that is a really good one to just

stop and go, what have I actually learned?

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Because it's so easy to get caught up

in the day to day in the to do lists and

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all of the stuff that we've got to do.

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And it's what have I actually learned?

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And just really sitting down

and thinking through that.

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And when I ask people that question,

sometimes they really stop and go.

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I'm not sure that I've learned anything.

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So it is definitely one to

really make you stop and think.

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Jacqui: It's interesting, isn't it?

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Because you can get to a stage in your

career where it feels groundhog day.

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You feel like.

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Your job is within your

capabilities, and it's easy to

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feel that you're not learning.

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And so what I love to do with

this question is to then break

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it down if that's the case.

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So to think about what skills

or experience have you learned?

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What have you learned in terms of

technical capability and the role?

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But also what have you

learned about yourself?

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What have you learned about

what you want in your career?

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What have you learned about

colleagues or about how to

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operate in the work environment?

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There's so many different things when

you add to that sentence of what have you

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learned about put in different endings

that can make that question easier

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to answer and make it more specific.

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And if you've listened to our previous

episodes, you'll know specificity is

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that, that word that's so hard to say

and also doesn't happen often enough.

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So yeah I absolutely love that question.

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Pam: Yeah.

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I'm not even going to attempt

to say that word because no

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matter how many times I try.

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I cannot say it, but yeah,

being specific is key.

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And I think, even if you feel like you

haven't learned much, like you say,

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there's always so much that you can

actually draw upon and even if you feel

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like you've learned that what you're doing

isn't actually what you want to be doing.

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That's a huge learning.

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Like sometimes when you feel a little

bit stale in the role, or you've not

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learned anything or you've not progressed,

actually, that's a really great sign

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that it's time to start thinking about

what is next and, moving forward.

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Jacqui: Great.

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Second question then?

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Pam: Okay, so the second question

would be, what relationships have you

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developed and maintained this year?

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Jacqui: Love this question,

and not one that I ever would

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have thought to ask myself.

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Why this question?

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What is it about that one that is so

important for people to reflect on?

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Pam: So with this one, I always

find that relationship building

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is something that we do without

thinking, but it's also something

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that we can really neglect as well.

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So lots of people, unless you work

in sales or a sales related role

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where you need to be building those

relationships all of the time, so

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you're doing it as part of your job.

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And then again, sometimes you might

not even realize that you're doing

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it because it's part of the job.

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But a lot of the time people won't

think of building relationships until

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they need to build those relationships.

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So rather than starting to get those

relationships going and having those

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conversations and getting to know

people at that deeper level, they

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will just go for example, job search

mode, I need to start networking, I

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need to start building relationships.

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And you don't build

relationships overnight.

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So thinking about that.

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Now, like thinking about that today

as you listen to this, like what

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relationships have you made and

maintained this year can really put

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into focus, like how much effort you've

put into that or how much of that

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you've done without actually realizing.

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Jacqui: I think it's interesting as

well that sometimes when you look

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at the list of what relationships

you have built or maintained the

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themes or patterns that can emerge.

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So that example you were talking about

of sales, very often if you ask that

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to someone in sales, naturally all

the relationships that come out will

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be client or prospect relationships.

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Relationships that they've invested

in because they see the need to be

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intentional about those relationships.

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But sometimes the things that

aren't on there is some of the

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internal relationships, some

of the peer relationships.

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And for me, it's those themes that can

be really interesting to explore when

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clients answer this question, because

that intention and that prioritization

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of relationships is the bit that,

like you say, is so hard to do.

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It's the bit that's easy for it to go

under the radar and sometimes people

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will find that they've developed more

relationships than they realized but

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very often with this what it draws

attention to is that there's opportunity

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for more of that and also for being more

intentional with it as they move forward.

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Pam: Yeah definitely and building those

relationships and being intentional with

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doing that will really help no matter

what stage of your career that you're

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at, starting to think about who could be

good to build relationships with and just

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really plotting out what, what you want

to do and what, who you need to speak to.

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And, even if it's just from, we've

talked lots on the podcast about,

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finding the right mentor and things

like that, even looking at relationship

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building from that point of view,

what can you learn from other people?

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Not just about, how can those people

help you to progress or help you

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with some part of your career?

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It's how can you build those

relationships in order to understand,

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how you can be better in your role

and all of that kind of stuff links

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in quite nicely with that as well.

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Jacqui: And we've got an episode

planned that is not too far off that

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will focus on the skill of doing that.

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So if you're listening to that question

and recognizing that maybe you could be

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more intentional or that you're not really

sure how to build relationships that will

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be beneficial, then we've got you covered.

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The third one, I love this question

and definitely never thought

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to ask it during my own career.

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So hit us with it.

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Pam: Okay, so if you could do this year

over again, what would you do differently?

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Jacqui: Perfect.

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So , what answers do you tend

to find that clients come up

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with when you ask this question?

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Pam: So usually the first thing that

someone will say is everything, I would do

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everything differently because it's one of

those questions where you ask people and

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straight away, if it's not been a great

year or there's been some, real learning

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curves within that year, then It's easy

to go, Oh, I do everything differently,

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but hindsight's a great thing, isn't it?

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And that kind of links back in

nicely to what have you learned?

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Because anything that you are

thinking that you might've done

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differently is going to come

from things that you've learned.

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So I think that's.

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It's a really, it's a really

key question, isn't it?

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Because actually then when you break it

down, would you have done it differently?

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Or did you act in accordance with

the skills and experience that

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you had at that point in time?

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Jacqui: I find that fascinating because

when I ask this question, I often get

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quite a different response in that

I get that people recognize that the

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result isn't necessarily what they

wanted, but they struggle to identify

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what they would have done differently

in order to get a different result.

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So a lot of my work with existing

leaders who want to, improve in terms

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of their leadership, get the promotion

or settle in at that next level.

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Often that question is a

really tricky one to identify.

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It's I recognize that I haven't

got the results that I hoped for.

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But I'm really struggling and what

that can help to uncover is those

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elements for a skills gap or a PDP.

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It can identify where there are some

areas that could trip you up if they

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were to come up again in future.

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So depending upon whether you're in

that phase of, I've recognized that.

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This is where I'm up to I want to move

on and I would do things differently

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and maybe find that it's perhaps less

you would do differently than you first

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thought or where you're more in that

second boat of finding that perhaps

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you know that the result isn't what

you wanted but you're not sure how

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then I think there's a lot to take

from reflecting on that question.

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Next one is an interesting one.

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We debated didn't we whether to

include this in our final list because

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we're like at first hearing this

might sound a little bit negative

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but bear with us and we'll explain

why it's so important to reflect on.

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Pam: Yeah so this one is what's the

biggest mistake that you've made?

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This year, and this is one that I ask

my clients, because I feel like it's a

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really good question to make you think

again so to really reflect, because a lot

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of the time, if you've made a mistake,

you will, you'll want to correct it.

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Move on from it as quickly as possible,

you will probably, in some cases want

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to bury your head in the sand, just

cut off any association to that mistake

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that you've made when actually we need

to make mistakes to learn from them.

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And to grow.

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If we don't make mistakes,

we'll never learn.

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But we live in a culture that, mistakes

are not really acceptable, are they?

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And especially in the workplace,

depending on the leadership styles

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and things like that within and the

cultures within the organization,

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some organizations are amazing.

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And it's that really safe space.

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You can make mistakes,

you can learn from them.

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We all support each other.

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But then in other organizations, it's

they might say, you're, it's allowed

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to make mistakes, but then when you

make one, it's the worst thing in

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the world and making mistakes can

cause humiliation, embarrassment,

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and all of these real negative

feelings to, to come up in people.

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And I think if you have made a mistake

and you just put it in a box and put it

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away, when you are progressing in your

career, when you're doing your appraisals,

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when you're preparing for interviews.

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Those mistakes are going to be in the back

of your mind, they're going to make you

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fearful, and they're going to stop you

from really being the best you because

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if you can unbox those mistakes and learn

from those things and look at, what you

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need to do from a personal development

point of view, that will really help

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you move faster through your career.

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Jacqui: It absolutely will.

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And I think that point you

make is really interesting.

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So I find very often with my clients,

when they've been promoted and

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they go into a new role, they have

unrealistic expectations of themselves.

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They expect to be able to go into

the new role, which is a stretch.

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It's a higher level.

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There's a whole new way of operating

that they need to adopt, they expect

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to be able to do that without mistakes.

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And that's such an unrealistic

expectation of yourself.

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And I think what that prompts is then

you don't want to admit to yourself

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the mistakes that you have made.

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But like you say, mistakes and

learning are so intertwined.

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As kids growing up, you don't expect

them to be able to jump on a bike and

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ride it perfectly for the first time.

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They're going to wobble.

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So why would you expect that somebody can

go into quite a complex senior level role

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and be able to just hit the ground running

and do it brilliantly from day one?

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It's really unrealistic as an expectation

and having honesty with yourself about

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mistakes is so helpful for learning.

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The other thing that I love to do with

clients on this is to use something

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called mental rehearsal, which is where

you reflect back on what you consider

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to be a mistake and mentally rehearse

that but with a different ending.

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And what you're doing is priming

yourself so that And I think people

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are often uncomfortable about some

of this reflection because it feels

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uncomfortable dwelling in that place

where you're making judgments about

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yourself, you're feeling like you

should have been able to do better.

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But when you mentally go back to

that time or situation to that

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trigger, whether that's, having

a disagreement with somebody.

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Whether there's been a conflict or

something's escalated, whether you've

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said the wrong thing or whether you've

missed the deadline or whether you

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haven't asked the right questions to get a

brief, there's so many possible examples.

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And I think if you go back to

that time in that situation.

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And you mentally take yourself through the

steps, but you then can change the ending.

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So think about the question that

you did want to ask, or think about

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how you could have framed an email

or a conversation with your boss to

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renegotiate a deadline around priorities.

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Then what you do is you give

yourself the opportunity that if

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that thing happens again in the

future, your brain is more prepared.

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It recognizes the path and instead

of the kind of freeze of, ah, no,

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this is happening all over again.

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You've given yourself an

alternative way to handle it.

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And that mental rehearsal for the future

can be such a simple and yet such a

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helpful technique to be able to avoid.

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Making that same mistake again, but

to get to it, you've got to reflect

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and you've got to ask yourself

about mistakes that you've made.

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I love that idea of just embrace and

recognize that mistakes are normal,

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mistakes are part of what we all do,

and reflect on the biggest mistake

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that you've made, and you take

the fear away from it, don't you?

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Pam: Yeah, definitely.

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When you do that, you're going

to respond rather than react.

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And that just feels so much better,

but, that technique is really useful.

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Playing it back and, thinking yourself

into that situation and what would you do?

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And sometimes you just

need to pause, don't you?

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Think about, how am I going to respond to

this rather than just reacting and taking

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yourself down a path that maybe isn't the

right way to deal with that situation.

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So I love that because that

is real reflection, isn't it?

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Taking yourself back through that,

and even if it feels difficult, and

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it could be embarrassing, maybe you've

said things that you shouldn't have

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said, or you could have rephrased things

differently, and take yourself through

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it, take yourself on that journey

back through it, because you'll learn

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so much, won't you, if you do that.

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Jacqui: Absolutely, so on to

our final couple then, and I

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really love these questions.

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Fifth one.

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Pam: So the fifth one, this

is my most favourite one.

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What are you most proud of this year?

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Jacqui: And it's often another one that

I find people are struggling to answer.

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Pam: Yeah, this is like the hardest one

to answer because people they just don't

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really they're quick to say what they

did badly, but what they did really well.

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People have this real mental block

around it and it's okay to celebrate

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the wins and it's okay to celebrate

all of that great impact and influence

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that you've had within the workplace.

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It's absolutely okay to do that.

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Think about what you are most proud of.

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What have you delivered this year?

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That's made you sit back

and go, do you know what?

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I am brilliant at my job.

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What have you done that's really made

you feel like, almost like you're 10

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feet tall, that, that amazing feeling

where you I know what I'm doing.

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All of the, all of these years that I've

been doing this stuff yeah, nailed it.

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And I think that's the feeling

you want to leaning to, I think,

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what am I most proud of this year?

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Jacqui: And I think what's really

good with this question as well is

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to be proud of yourself for smaller

things as well as big achievements.

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People often struggle to answer

this because they might feel like, I

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haven't got any massive wins this year.

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But actually being proud of yourself

can be about that time that you were

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compassionate with somebody in your

team who had stuff going on outside

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of work, it can be about how you

conducted yourself in that meeting with

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someone who was really challenging.

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It can be about the result that you

delivered by bringing people together.

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So it can be from teeny tiny

things up to bigger things.

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And what I love about this is it's

so useful for reflection in order to

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capture things that you might then

want to take to an appraisal, a one to

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one, a check in and obviously for you

there's also that job search element

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of reflecting on things that you're

proud of that you would then put into

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your CV and interview prep as well.

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But it's not one that people

find easy to answer at all is it?

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Pam: No, people really do struggle with

it and it's just that whole thing isn't

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it about talking about yourself, in a

nice way, in a positive way, like people

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are so quick to put themselves down,

but never as quick to big themselves up.

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And it's almost you feel you're being big

headed or boastful and things like that.

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And it's do you know what?

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Own this stuff, like really be

proud of yourself because everyone's

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facing different challenges.

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Every single day, whether it's work,

family life, whatever it is going

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on, if you just take this time off

to go, what am I proud of this year?

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What have I done?

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And like you say, the small things to the

big things, it doesn't matter what it is.

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If it's made you feel proud, then own

it, write it down, take note of it.

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Because on those bad days.

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You can always refer back and

go these are the good things.

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These are the things that I'm proud of.

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Jacqui: And I think this can

be a really good one to get.

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We've talked before about the idea of

a smile file of being that one place

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where you capture all the positive

feedback that you get externally.

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But you can add to that yourself as well.

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You don't have to wait for external.

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Equally, this is really good to prime

yourself to capture as you go through

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the year, rather than just do it this

now once and reflect on the last 12

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months, get into the habit of noticing

and reflecting on this week by week,

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month by month, and allow yourself to

be proud of what you're contributing,

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as well as what you're achieving.

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So one of the questions I love, alongside

this, is about when people have been

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true to themselves, because that is

something to be proud of when you've been

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true to yourself, how you want to lead,

how you want to manage, how you want to

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operate and stay true to your values.

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That is something to be proud of as well.

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And yeah, I think let's get normalized

being proud of yourself and feeling like

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you can be proud of yourself for small

things as well as massive achievements

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and things could be very different in

terms of how you feel about yourself

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and about your contribution at work.

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Pam: Yeah, I think that is definitely if

we could all do that, I think, it would

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make going to work and all the stuff that

we do so much easier because leaning into

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all that good stuff and, is only going

to benefit us isn't it in the long run.

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Jacqui: Definitely.

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A final question then.

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Pam: Okay, so the final one is, how

have you used your strengths this year?

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And this is an interesting one, isn't it?

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Because a lot of the time when we ask

this question, people will say, Oh, I'm

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not actually sure what my strengths are.

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I'm sure I've used them at some point.

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I must have done to get through the year,

but it's always a hard one, isn't it?

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Jacqui: And It's different than what

are you proud of yourself for because

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to answer this question of how have

you used your strengths this year.

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You need to recognize what your

strengths are and you then need

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to think of times when you have

brought your strengths into play.

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And I think what I see people find

with this question is either they're

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not sure what their strengths are.

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Or they recognize what their

strengths are, but they recognize

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that actually they've been spending

a lot of time and energy on trying

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to overcome weaknesses rather than

bringing their strengths into play.

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Or it can be that maybe there just

wasn't really opportunity for me to

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use my strengths . When we use our

strengths, we tend to feel in flow.

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We tend to feel energized.

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And in terms of all of the research

around burnout, one of the things that

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we've recognized and talked about before

using your strengths more often in the

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work that you do is energizing and a

positive impact and has an association

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with protecting people from going

down that road of burnout because

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you're in flow, you're feeling good and

it's less effort and energy to work.

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within your strengths than it is

trying to overcome your weaknesses.

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So I think there's loads

of layers to this question.

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Pam: Yeah, I love that as well, like

playing to your strengths rather than

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trying to overcome the weaknesses because

sometimes, obviously we're always trying

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to better ourselves and we're always

looking at, what are our weaknesses and

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limitations because we want to do better.

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But like you say, if you play

to your strengths, you're

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going to do a whole lot more.

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And it could be that actually some of

those weaknesses and limitations, maybe

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you're never going to overcome those.

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And rather than worrying about

that and focusing in on that.

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Focus on the strengths and that

other stuff that can be part of your

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personal development plan that can,

come with time or leaning into your

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strengths is where you're definitely

going to make the most impact.

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Jacqui: And once you get clear on what

your strengths are, you can ask yourself

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that question of how can I use my

strengths in a wider range of situations.

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So how can I use this strength to help me?

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In the role that I do.

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And very often what you'll find is

when you are conscious and intentional

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about using your strengths, then you

feel more comfortable, more confident,

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more able to make a contribution

because you recognize that you do

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have strengths that can help you.

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And rather than your focus and energy

and attention being on the things that

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you perceive or other people have told

you that aren't as strong, your focus

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and energy and attention is on the

things that you can bring and you'll find

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creative ways to bring those strengths

into play in a wider range of situations.

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And that can be an absolute

game changer, can't it?

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Particularly at a senior level.

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Pam: Yeah, definitely.

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When we are thinking about playing

to our strengths, it's like looking

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for those opportunities to use

our strengths is going to be key.

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And it's something that we don't do.

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We look for opportunities to improve

on our weaknesses, but we never

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really look for opportunities to

use those strengths and really

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make those strengths even stronger.

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So I think it's, there's definitely

something in that and thinking about

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how you've used your strengths this

year will really help you to focus

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in on what can you do more of?

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What do you want to do less of?

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And I think that's the thing, isn't it?

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Because just because it's a strength.

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doesn't actually mean

that we love doing it.

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And I suppose that's a whole

other debate, isn't it?

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But just because we can do something

really well and like it's classed as a

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strength there's that reflection as well.

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If I'm doing this all the time, because

it is a strength and I'm leaning into

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these strengths, do I actually love this?

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Do I want to do more of this?

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And, that's a totally different.

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element of reflection, but it's

also a good one to think about.

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If you are playing to your strengths,

are you enjoying where you are?

430

Do you enjoy playing to those strengths?

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Like the, there are all different

questions that you can think

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about and ask yourself in terms of

thinking, where have I been, this

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year, previous years, and what do

I want to do more of going forward.

434

Jacqui: I think that's such

an interesting question.

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For me, perceived strengths is what

other people think your strengths are.

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True strengths are the

things that do energize you.

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They're the things that, for you, come

naturally, feel easier, are enjoyable,

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are a real positive experience.

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And I think you raise such a crucial

point that very often we would classify

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strengths as being the things that

we've been told we're strong at.

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But they don't always light us up.

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They're not always things that

are true strengths in the way

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that I would now define strengths.

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I definitely having trained in coaching

and worked with strengths for a

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number of years, think and feel very

differently about them than I did.

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So that's such a helpful distinction

for people to be able to identify what

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are the things that I've considered a

strengths and do those really meet the

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definition of being a true strength or

am I considering them strengths, because

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other people have rated me highly on them.

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And that might mean that I'm showing

a higher level of performance than

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other people are but that still

might not be a true strength in

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the context of how I feel and how.

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That feels to use that or do that within

the workplace so much food for thought.

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So I'm just going to ask you to

run through and just give us those

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six questions from top to bottom.

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So if people are listening and

want to just capture them, we'll

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also put them in the show notes so

that you can take them from there.

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And then next week we will build

on this reflection and start to

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think about that future piece.

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So take us through those six

questions again, if you would.

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Pam: Okay, so number one, what

have you learned this year?

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Number two, what relationships have

you developed and maintained this year?

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Number three, what would you

do differently if you could

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do this year over again?

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Number four, what's the biggest

mistake that you've made this year?

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Number five, what are you

most proud of this year?

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And number six is how have you

used your strengths this year?

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Jacqui: Thank you so much for listening.

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If you are doing that reflection

piece and feel that some coaching

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support would help, Pam and I both

offer power hours where we can work

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with you on that reflection piece.

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Sometimes it just really helps to have

somebody else tease that stuff out of you.

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So do drop us a line, connect with

us on LinkedIn, and we will be back

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next week with the episode where

we'll support on that next stage of

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making those decisions about how you

want to move your career forward.

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As ever.

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If you have found this episode useful,

then please do share it with anyone

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else that you think would benefit.

479

Please do take the time to rate

and review or to drop us a message.

480

We absolutely love hearing from you.

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If the episode has been helpful or if

there are topics that you would like us

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to cover and those ratings and reviews

really do make all the difference

483

in terms of helping the podcast

to get discovered by other people.

484

Thanks as ever for listening and

we will catch you again next time.